Today will be a lesson for all you clueless morons who seem to have no repsect for your fellow concert goers: DON’T. FUCKING. TALK. in an intimate setting such as a theater-based concert; like this past live show with Ghost, as some of us are there to hear someone we paid to see, not your fucking feckless ass. Continue for more words.

During the opener for the Ghost show, Marissa Nadler, the row behind me was being entirely disrespectful of the performer by being loud, making rude jokes, and having me contemplate if I could slit their throat without it being super obvious. Now, the reason it annoyed me was 2 fold: 1) it was a super quiet environ, being a closed, indoors theater, and conversational voices were easy to hear over the admittedly sparse style of music, and b) they were being rude to the performer and to everyone else, as we had paid money to see the fucking show without commentary.

Now, if this was at a bar or outdoors area like normal, wouldn’t have a single fuck to give; it’s expected and I can live with it. A theater, perhaps out of the gravitas it naturally brings, creates a more intimate type of atmosphere, and absolutely means you respect the audience around you, at the very least. I go to shows to relax and keep my focus on the act, and with arranged seating, that means I am forced to sit with the same people around me. And if you’re talking or distracting me, I will definitely be distracted envisioning how I can rip your tongue out from the roots and leave you for the rats to shit in your defiled throat after hobos have used it for a sexual orifice. I ABHOR distraction when I am out for work or pleasure.

So, to keep it short and sweet: stp fucking it up for others and shut the fuck up when it’s a close seating arrangement, or else I will call security/add to unsolved murders in the area. Plus, you’re not anywhere near as funny when you are simply make other people hate you, unlike me. BECAUSE NOBODY ASKED ME, SO I DIDN’T TALK! That’s why, you simpleton!