FLASH! AAAAHHH AHHHHH!!! What’s the first thing that pops into your head when you hear “Flash Gordon”? Of course it’s the campiest movie ever with the killer Queen soundtrack. That’s what I thought of when my boss handed me this hardcover collection. Dark Horse Archives brought back some classics here, from the late 60s-70s that are sure to please any fan of the original series, or just maybe, make us skeptics into believers.

Now, I have to start by saying something that I’ve said a billion times, working with Dark Horse has given me the opportunity to read things that I have never picked up before. Like, say…Flash Gordon. It’s not that I had anything againt the character, per se…but what’s the fun in Flash Gordon without the voice of Freddy Mercury, right? WRONG!
I know.. sometimes I have to admit that I was wrong.. and as a Leo and an only child, that’s pretty fucking hard sometimes.

So, where do I begin? I usually do my “short synopsis” (patent pending.. well, not really, but don’t bite my style, fuckers), but there are 7 pretty dense individual issues here.. so.. what to do? Well, I suppose I’ll be like Joe Friday on Dragnet, and give some facts. That’s always good, right? It makes me seem like I know what I’m talking about, as opposed to just writing entertaining things to make myself happy. Which isn’t what I’m saying I do. I mean, except for the whole being a woman thing, I’m a pretty serious fanboy. Now, onto Flash.

This series covers issues 12-18 and each are written by Bill Pearson and Joe Gill respectively. The art is by Pat Boyette, Reed Crandall and Jeff Jones. There’s also an introduction by Scott Shaw! So…did you know that Flash Gordon was a space James Bond? No? Well, neither did I. I have to say, that for the length of this series, he was super fresh. I sort of got a little crush on him. I mean, how can you not? He’s all up in some evil alien’s business and has a super cool lazer gun, and a tough girlfriend named “Dale” that would put any Bond girl to shame. She’s riding on the backs of wild animals and shooting blasters. Wait, does that sound familiar.. Oh, George Lucas you scoundrel! That’s where Padme came from, before you turned her into a wack herb who died of a broken heart. BAH! It all makes sense to me now. Well, I suppose everything is recycled and he straight up stole Dale and turned her into Padme. I’m on to you Lucas…I’m on to you. Oh, not to mention that the Flash Gordon character refers to his blaster as a blaster.. but I can’t vouch for whom the creator of that word was. So…he’s off the hook on that one. Woah! If it’s not Batman, it’s Star Wars. Sorry kids.

Now, Flash Gordon is written quite well and I think the best part of the whole series is the fact that he’s witty. I fucking LOVE funny characters. I mean, at the end of the day, sometimes you need some comic relief. Flash Gordon is the type of character that dishes out the spin dives and the one liners. I live for one liners. I say one liners all the time. I appreciate when they are used correctly and in a way that doesn’t make a character seem like a farce, but someone that is quick with their words. Perhaps as a student of languages (no for real… I am getting a Masters of Science in Linguistics!) I appreciate the words of a story and can sometimes give a pass on the art.

Now, that’s where we’re headed. I am not in love with the way that this comic is drawn. It has all of the colorful panels that I want and there are interesting angles.. but you know what? Some of it is straight up rudimentary. I am by no neans an artist, but I can appreciate someone who can draw with more accuracy than someone who can’t. We all know the comic book rule, right? If you can’t draw a foot, make a pointy boot.. (I’M LOOKING AT YOU ROB LIEFELD…sorry, we had a fight.) but sometimes you can’t draw like it’s your freshman year at Pratt. Some of these comic panels aren’t what I would want. Of course, back then, they were 12 cents. Back then, I also walked both ways, uphill, barefoot in the snow to go to school.

Now…what is the absolute greatest part of this book? Dark Horse has a sense of humor and when they bring something back, they bring it ALL back. There are those amazing old school advertisements in every issue. There are ones for “hidden shoe lifts” for men who wish they were taller in there. I read the book twice, JUST to get into the advertisements. I can’t imagine someone ordering shit from a comic, but apparently it worked. This book is worth it, just for that. Seriously…hysterical ads.

So, what can I tell you…buy it, borrow it from a friend…steal it (just kidding, or am I?) but read it. It’s totally worth each individual issue as well as the ads inside of them. Also, if you hated the Flassh Gordon movie, read the series because he’s a totally different cat. As for Dale, she rules as a character and you all know how I love strong females. Now, yes, its a Dark Horse Archives book, so that means that it’s $50, unless you’re me and get free books because you’re the darling of Metalmacine.net. So, I know it’s pricey. I think it’s worth it, but times are tough. SO, I looked it up on line for you and it’s available for $30 on Amazon. So, that makes it a little easier on the wallet. I do think though, even if you don’t end up owning the books, they are totally worth reading… they are incredibly enjoyable and fun to look at…even if it’s not exactly the best drawn art in the world. Of course, they can’t all be Dave Gibbons.