» Blog Archive Naughty Bear Review -
fairservice Comic Book News, Movies, News

Naughty Bear Review
by Mike Fairservice

When you first hear the name Naughty Bear, you think of something on Teletoon or Treehouse, this couldn’t be farther from the truth.

Naughty Bear does start off like a typical children’s story:

“Oh Naughty Bear, you sure look different than the other bears.  Your stuffing
is loose, stitched are wrong, part of your ear is missing and you look dirty and
are all stained.

What’s that Naughty Bear?  You made a gift for someone’s birthday?  That was
 very nice of you.  Now why don’t you go to the birthday party and give it to the
birthday bear?”

So then off he goes to take the gift to the birthday party and make some friends.  But as you probably already know, teddy bears are complete assholes.  When they see the home made gift that Naughty made they start laughing at him, it is then that Naughty Bear SNAPS.  I was busting a gut as the happy soothing voice of the narrator saying:

“Oh Naughty Bear are those teddies making fun of you?  After you spent all that
time making that nice gift?  Burn that present Naughty Bear and make them pay
for treating you so badly.”

What happens next is probably the most violent and meaningless destruction of “life” that I have probably enjoyed in a very long time.  I have probably NEVER laughed so much at a game ever.

You proceed to control Naughty Bear as he decimates the other teddies on the island, beating them with everything from haunches of lamb, axes, baseball bats, setting them on fire using a branch like a boy scout would rub a stick to start a fire or by throwing them into a lit BBQ, there are swords, bear traps, landmines and various fire arms.

For those who would rather a more stealthy approach you can go and sabotage the items in the area, the stupid bears ALWAYS try to fix the broken thing, even when you break it in front of them and “hide” in the cupboard.  While they are fixing the item you can quietly get out of the cupboard and break their neck… electrocute them… use the item however naughty bear decides.

The funny thing about this game is that I would have no problem letting my nine year old play this game.   There is no blood in the game at all, when you take out a bear all you see is fluff flying everywhere.  Now you are all probably reading this in shock… ‘Let my kids play this?  What about all the violence?’  This game is centered around a TEDDY BEAR… like none of you haven’t destroyed a teddy before.  Hell, I tossed a stuffed Barney the Dinosaur on a bonfire just to watch the freak burn!  At least this way there is no mess to clean up after the carnage.

So I would definitely recommend Naughty Bear to anyone who enjoys mindless, BRUTAL violence in their games, with a very funny narration.  I think I will crack this out when I have had a particularly tough day at work.

I was just told yesterday when I went to get my copy at Blockbuster that there is a delay in the release, I will update this article when I find out when the new release date is.  When it come out I think it is running for around $50.00, I am also hoping for DLC with this as well.

Comments are closed.

RSS
Follow by Email
Facebook
Twitter
YouTube
YouTube
Instagram
SOCIALICON

Subscribe

Enter your email address:

Search

VIDEO OF THE WEEK

ADS